I don’t know a parent out there that wouldn’t say that they wanted to raise happy childen.  I believe it is far too easy to “say” the right thing. It is much harder to “do” the right thing. Are we raising our kids to be happy? Are we, as parents, happy? Sometimes we just need to step back and ask these questions…AND answer them…honestly.

I’ve made mistakes as a single mother. I think it is important to be a bit selfish. In the beginning I was selfish…but not in a positive way…not in a way that was going to make me a better mother..and not in a way that was going to benefit my children.  Today, I’m not that same mother…I’ve changed and evolved in ways I never knew possible.  I’m not finished either.

I think it is very hard to raise happy children when we ourselves are not happy.  We need to fix ourselves first.  Make ourselves into good, positive role models.  I want my children to be happy, kind, and peaceful.  I need to show my children how to do this.  If I can accomplish this, than I have provided my children with the tools to be successful.  I’m not talking about the amount of money in their pocket, but the amount of laughter in their heart.  Simplify your life, it will become a lot easier to understand happiness.

Zen

Creating happy children isn’t about throwing big lavish parties, going to exotic islands…etc.  Happiness can happen right in your living room.  Hey, this is VERY easy to say.  Honestly, I tend to always want to be somewhere or do something bigger than needed…creating high expectations, setting the scene for a highly stressed occasion.  I’m learning.

I’m actually learning a great deal from the website www.zenhabits.net.  Remember, less is more…except when talking about quality time with kids…i think, well, more is more.  Instead of buying your kids some big expensive gift…um, how about not working those hours it cost to buy that gift.  Just a thought.    Alright, I tend to ramble and go off on tangets…here are a list of basics for raising happy children.  Before starting on THIS list, make sure you are able to check off “happy parent.”

• Be creative.  Teach your children creativity.  Write short skits and perform them, color, draw, paint, etc.
• Play!  Get muddy and chill out about it.  I was a camp couselor in Maryland one summer.  The last day was woodstock day.  There was this designated area that we flooded…it was ALL mud.  We played and bathed in mud for hours.  I felt like a kid again.
• Do not over schedule.  Your child does not have to play soccer, take theater, play the piano, be in boy scouts …to be well rounded.  That wore me out just typing it.  Does your calendar look like a giant collage?  How about re-thinking it.
• GIVE.  Volunteer.  You may not have a lot of money, but there are many ways to  “give” kindness.  I’ve started to make extra food a couple times a week and the kids and i take it to my aunt and visit.  Doesnt take a lot of time or money, and everyone enjoys it.  Win-Win.
• Be positive.  Try to see things in a half full kinda way.  Im not ALWAYS this way, but for the most part, yes.  I also believe starting the day on the right foot is key.  EVERY morning i wake my kids with “its a nice day.”  Helps set the tone.  Surround yourself with positive people.
• Love.  Tell your children you love them…often.  The other day, I was talking to my children and I told them ”even when I get upset with you, I love you.”

These are just some examples.  I am no Mary Poppins, but in the end, I believe raising happy children starts with just simplifying our lives and being happy ourselves.