Well, my life as a single mother is about to change.  I’ve kept most of the details to myself and have shared with only those most near and dear to me.  Well, and one person I didn’t want them to hear through the grapevine because they tend to see everything negatively and over react and are EXTREMELY ANTI-supportive…but, without going into detail on that one…lets just say, they needed to be told by me…Ok, so those near and dear have fallen into my biggest cheerleaders as expected, this is why I love you guys sooo much.  Thanks Monica, Robin, Fulks, co-workers and Stacey.

Alright, Alright, so the big news is…I’m getting married? NAH! I’m pregnant? NOPERS  I will be co-inhabiting with my boyfriend of 1.5 years?  YES!!  He has been accepted to IU and will be getting his teaching certification for special education with the GI Bill.  I am so frightened, but excited AND lucky.  I am not an easy person to get along with and I found someone that can completely work with my “quirks.”

Its hard to be independent for so long, and finally not have everything on your shoulders.  The other day, I freaked out a bit…had a million questions going through my head..How am I going to do this, how am I going to do that?  But I was reminded that it is now WE, and my partner is pretty darn smart, so I have that going for me.  Once all the freaking out was over, I believed everything was really going to work out.  I get to say goodbye to my teeny House without an oven.  We found a wonderful HUGE beautiful house, that I fell in love with instantly.

I’ve always been shy and afraid to make decisions.  I’ve lacked a great deal of confidence, my voice was gone.  This one, I’m sure of.  I’m 31 years old and perfectly capable of making decisions. I love and truly appreciate those that have always stood by me and supported my decisions.  You have really lifted me up and been there when it really counted.  To those that have nothing but negative things to say about a life you know nothing about, you need to get over it and make a decision of your own.  You can accept what is going on, learn to bite your tongue, and realize maybe you aren’t the best person to decide what is right for us.  I want peace for my life.  I want a simple, smooth, tranquil life.  I don’t want this to be bitter, because too much good is happening to my life right before my eyes.

I’ve spent most of my life single and quite the narcissist.  I have destroyed and rebuilt my life over and over…single.  I can tell you my sanity is BARELY intact, but here it is.  My mind and body are healthier than it ever has been.  I’m still crazy, but not dealing with it alone.  I have found someone that love me AND my two boys and have been an incredible support system, through the good and the bad.

Am I single?  Well, I still check the single box when doing my taxes or attendance sheet in church.  I supposed technically I am, I’m not married, but I don’t think I’m really “single.”  I look forward to dropping in and “chatting.”  Right now Im trying to lose the 20+ lbs I’ve gained in the past two years.  I have no self-control lately when it comes to food.  I always lost weight when I was depressed, I guess that’s what I get for being so damned happy.