Depression.  This is a topic that I can relate myself with, all too well, especially as a single mom.  It doesn’t matter how we arrived at being a single mom, whether widowed, divorced, or single after having a live in partner that resulted in children. We are at a 40% greater risk of becoming clinically depressed than moms who have a husband or life partner.

According to a few studies that I have read, it seems there are two common factors involved.  We have greater stress and less social support. I find this to be true in my own circumstances.  It takes a lot more daily work for one person to maintain a home and support a family than it does two. Even when the absent parent is financially supportive, we mom’s still have to work an outside job, as well as keep up our household chores.

I believe one of the greatest stresses we have on us is lack of sleep. We tend to save work for after the children go to sleep, so that we can be active in their lives while they are awake.  Add to that, all the other stresses that we are under, which include, financial issue surrounding maintaining a home, quality time with our children, broken dreams, visitation and child support issues, as well as the emotional feelings related to some of those issues, and it’s any wonder we make it through each day with a head full of hair.

Is there any hope in avoiding depression?  The answer I’ve found, yes there is. The first thing we need to do is remember that other people may not understand how we feel, and WE must not be offended by their lack of initial understanding.  One thing a single mom should do is immediately seek mental and medical help if she feels herself falling into a depression.  Even if she only suspects she may be depressed.

Aside from promoting good health and well being by seeing a professional, we need to develop a social support network.  If help is offered, take it.  Family and friends are often beating down the door trying to help and you need to swallow that pride and allow them. I’m not talking about letting them do everything for you.  But if your sister is over, let her help you fix dinner, fold clothes, run Johnny to his baseball practice, or keep the kids occupied and entertained while you run that errand to the grocery store.

Finally, if you are doing things for your children that they are obviously old enough to do for themselves. Stop it. Give them age appropriate chores, and guidelines.  Most children feel a sense of accomplishment when they have mastered something, and feel good knowing they have helped out.  Not to mention, it improves their sense of responsibility. While the kids are helping you out, one last thing you need to consider is “me” time.  Take ten minutes for yourself as often as you can.  It will improve your outlook immensely.