I don’t hide the fact that I am a fan of the Supernanny! I probably watch less than 7 hours of tv a week, 75% of that is Supernanny. It’s comforting to watch. It’s nice to know that even the “wildest” of children can be “tamed.”  Keep in mind, I use these terms very loosely.  It is also a way for me to realize my boys aren’t too shabby and I’m able to give myself a little pat on the back.

One of Supernanny’s many “go-to” resources is a routine. It is a known fact, like 1+1= 2, that kids need and love structure.   My personality, at times, can reflect a routine nightmare.  This is coming from the woman that has lived her life in a constant state of whimsy.  I moved to a foreign country by myself for a year, decided I wanted to live in Seattle for a summer, then packed and left the next day.  Decided to join Americorps, packed and left to live on the east coast for about 3 years in one day.  Need I say this was all before I was a mother?  As I watched episode after episode of Supernanny, I thought maybe I needed to implement a routine, not really thinking much about it or what that would actually intale.

My conclusion:  I’m not sure it is possible.  I sat down with my cardboard and black sharpie and got to work, only to realize how different my schedule is every single day of the week.  I finally finished a schedule for Mondays and Wednesdays, only to realize that Aidan had speech therapy in the morning on Mondays and that would throw the scheduling off.  I started to think about the Supernanny and realized that most of the “routines” she devised were for stay at home moms.  I work different hours on different days.  This certaintly is not ideal, but when you are single mom and are in constant finanical survival mode, you can not always be choosey on what schedule you get.  So where does that leave me? Seven different schedules for seven different days, seven separate pieces of cardboard?  UGH, I’m making this too hard arent I?

It is now 10pm at night, I started this blog earlier in the day and I’ve had some time to reflect.  Today wasn’t on a schedule.  My kids ate at 6 (a little later than usual).  I let them have a snack at 7, because it was their birthday.  We played a game about 7:15, gave the kiddos a bath, read them each a book, tucked them into their beds, talked about their day…Their day ended at 8, without a hitch.  Loosely speaking, maybe I do have a routine.  I tell them dinner is almost ready (probably a different time everyday), without even asking, dylan is getting their table ready and chairs in place.  I start singing our clean up song ( a different time everyday) and the kids start picking up their toys while I run their bath water.  I wake the kids up by saying “its a nice day” ( a different time everyday).

What is that saying?   “Different Dips for Different chips?”  Basically, every single family is different.  I think it’s important to really know what works for you.  Finding examples that work for you is great, but no need to treat it as the holy grail, things happen and dont always go as planned.  I believe that the Supernanny is right-on with a lot of her child rearing techniques and I believe i have found a way to interpret her ideas into my life style.  “Different Jokes for different folks?”

I really do believe that structure is very important in a child’s life.  If you live a completely chaotic life, you will have completely chaotic children.  Maybe try something like this…

• We all have to get up, right?  maybe try something quirky to get the kids up.  Perhaps play some music in their doorway when its time, a kazoo, guitar, something silly.  Get the day started right.  I just say, “its a nice day” and the kids wake up 90% of the time in great moods.
• We all have to eat.  Give the kids special duties for getting table ready.  Whenever I say “Dinner/Lunch is almost ready” My kiddos are getting the table out and ready.  Praise your kids and let them know how much you appreciate their help.  It goes a long way….believe me.
• Family time…schedule it!!! Turn off the TV!!!!  We have a box full of games and I give the kids a “first call” for them to find a game we can play…or a book we can read.  Give your kids options.  It makes them feel like they are really involved.
• We all have to sleep.  I’ve discussed this before, but try to create a routine for bedtime.  Sometimes we cant complete our routine because I get out of work too late, but…more times than not we are on our schedule and it works for us.

Ok, it is 10:30 and I would still like to read, I try to every night right before bed.  I have a zillion things to do tomorrow, and none of it on my “routine”…If I were REALLY going to plan my week out, it would be on a dry errase board and I would do it the night before and..hey, now there is an idea…anyway, goodnight all!

I love Supernanny. I’ve seen countless episodes. Different families with different problems, except one…bedtime. I cant remember the last time Jo (that’s supernanny) did not have to deal with a problem at bedtime.  I hear so many parents saying “I wish my kids would go to bed early.”  Um, you ARE the parent, right?  I just shake my head and think of how great my kids are at bedtime, and ALWAYS have been.

Ok, Ok, I just choked on my own laugh with that last comment.  I used to DREAD bedtime, because it was such a stressful and LONG process.  But now, my kids get 11-12 hours of sleep and I am a happy mom, EVEN at 6:30am.  Bedtime for your kids is not only healthy for them, its also Healthy for mom.  This did not happen overnight, mainly because I wavered a little from the rules.  I learned VERY quickly that you have to follow the rules EXACTLY.

What ARE the rules you ask?  I would like to tell you I thought these up on my own and here is my patent number, but, I didn’t.  I stole the rules right from Supernanny.  I did not even ask permission I just did it and now I will pass them on to you.  Ready?  Here they are…TaDa

• Follow a CALMING bedtime routine.
• Before he gets into bed make sure he has no reason to get up.  (He has gone to the bathroom, had a little water and after all of this, make sure you make it clear that you now expect him to stay in bed)

NOW, the following are the rules within the rules.  Basically what to do after all this and he makes his 1st to 21st (or whatever) attempt at getting out of bed.

• The first time he gets up, remind him it is bedtime, lead him back to bed and give him a kiss and a cuddle and leave the bedroom.
• The second time do the same but use a firmer voice and make the kiss and cuddle brief.
• The third time and any times after say nothing as you lead him back to his bed, tuck him in and leave the room.

The last one is where I wavered, and it is really the most important to stick to.  I have also seen variations of this technique on the show.  She will sometimes have the parent do all the following but instead of leave the room, she will have them step away from the bed, sit down with your head down.  This is to provide the child with some comfort.  She has the parent wait until the child is asleep to leave.

Following these rules does not give you INSTANT results.  It took me a full week of hour long (or more) trials before it actually worked.  It was exhausting, but 100% worth it.  I have so much more ME time because of it.  I can share with you my “calming ” routine that seems to work.

Because of my schedule, I am unable to get the kids to bed at the same time EVERY night.  But, because I have stuck to my guns in the past, I have gained enough respect that when I tell my kids that they have 15 more minutes until we get ready for bed (no matter WHAT time it is) they don’t argue

• Easy on up on the sugary treats before bed (actually ALL day if you can)
• Clean up time!  They have to put ALL their toys away.
• They get to watch TV for a short time.
• I tell them they have 15 more minutes till bathtime.
• It’s bathtime…scrub scrub..dub dub.
• Teeth brushed, go to potty.
• They each pick a book for me to read.
• They go to their separate rooms.
• I sit with each one and let them tell me about their day.
• kisses, hugs and tucked in…

TADA…  Again, this is altered here and there.  Sometimes I help them pick up toys, sometimes I only read ONE book AND sometimes I’m not able to give them a bath that night.  It really all comes down to getting your kids to respect you and trust you enough that if you do have to alter the “program” they are able to flow with it with you.  Kids do need discipline and structure…actually, they LOVE it, and will respect you more for it.

You may think this just seems like an awful lot, but just think about all that time you take just trying to get your kids to bed.  You should also check out super nannys website.